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Post by mum322003 on Jan 26, 2004 22:43:53 GMT -5
:-[Are there colostomates out there who's partner had a difficult time accepting the bag???
My partner tends to make me empty it before we get into it - Am i the only one??? HELP PLEASE
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Post by Kathy_from_England on Jan 27, 2004 14:40:33 GMT -5
Hi,
Gary always empties his bag beforehand (he has an ileostomy) simply for practical purposes. A full bag sloshing around is inviting leaks.
But you say he 'makes' you empty it...does he do anything else to make you feel he doesn't accept it? Or is this the only thing?
There are various things you can do to disguise the bag, would these help?
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Sean
Posted lots of msgs
Posts: 31
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Post by Sean on Jan 27, 2004 16:56:23 GMT -5
I tend to empty my bag before "getting into it" also. Otherwise the squelching can be a bit offputting.
Sean
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Post by mum322003 on Jan 27, 2004 18:59:10 GMT -5
There are other things, like avoiding me in the bathroom if i ask him to get something while i am changing. Most of the time there are only dribbles in the bag it isnt full  I think he is still getting used to it. |
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Post by Kathy_from_England on Jan 28, 2004 12:42:30 GMT -5
It could be that he needs time to adjust. Or he could be trying to be discreet.
Have you tried talking to him about it?
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Post by mum322003 on Jan 29, 2004 3:07:07 GMT -5
hi kathy, been there done that, its not a topic we can get into very easily. He just accepts it but thats all. |
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Eliza
Posted a few msgs
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Post by Eliza on Jan 29, 2004 14:26:36 GMT -5
Hi Mum, I had been happily married for 18 years when my colostomy was born. My husband was worried that he was going to hurt me. And I was so self concious of the bag that I couldn't relax. So I ordered some frilly crotchless underwear and a few body wraps that are made specifically for ostomates. They not only covered the bag but they held it close to the body and out of the way. The old "out of sight out of mind" trick worked for me. And since I've never been one for frilly lingerie it was kinda fun; I think I felt sexier than ever in the long run. But after a few months we both forgot about the bag and the wrap and the other stuff and just got back into our old routine.... which if fine, too.  The other thing I found helpful was humor and communication. My husband can be hard to talk with about these things but it was important for both of us to check in with each other. You might want to check out some of these websites. I think there are even more if you do a search for them. www.ostomycomforts.comwww.ostomatesoriginals.comwww.whiterosecollection.comBest wishes, Eliza |
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Post by mum322003 on Feb 17, 2004 3:33:52 GMT -5
sorry guys, i know its been a while but thank you for taking the time to post answers and will try a few of your ideas out. I apologise again i have been busy surfing the net for information for the support group which i started up in my local area.
thank you and take care......
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