Ostomy/Stoma Acceptance Poll

[Jason_D]

The first poll for the message board is an a poll about ostomy/stoma acceptance.

Here is a little explaination of each option to help you choose which answer is best for you.

1. I love it. - It may or may not have saved your life but you love it.

2. You accept it and have no issues with it at all now. - You neither love nor hate it, its just as much a part of your body as your leg, or your arm, or your nose, and you think no less or worse of it because of this. You may have had body issue images, or wondered if people could tell it was there, or wondered if it was smelt by other people occassionally in the early days, but not anymore.

3. You accept it but have occassional issues with it. - ie you occassionally worry about your body image, you wonder if other people can see it through your clothes, or wonder if peope can smell it, and it occassionally depresses you as a result.

4. You hate it. - You detest it, you hate the fact you had to have it done and want rid of it ASAP.

5. No opinion. - You really dont care either way about it, or you dont yet have a stoma, or you are a relative/friend of an ostomist and therefore dont have a stoma.

We look forward to receiving your reply. You can ofcourse add comments with you answer if you wish, and are more than welcome to do so.

Take care, and have a great week!

Buh Bye now,

Jason D.

[shaz]

Having grown up with my ileostomy (I got it when I was 10 years old due to UC - am now 36), I can't remember life being any other way. You mean some unfortunate people actually poop via a rectum?

Harriet (my stoma) is a good friend - without her I wouldn't be here today.

[Atul]

Hello,

I have come to terms with my stoma now.... I've had it since 1998.

Atul

[phyll08]

I accept my ostomy, but do have occasional issues r/t odor and "bulging"...fortunately these are few and far between!

Phyllis

[Cathy T]

I haven't accepted my stoma or any of this very well, of course, I have other issues (cancer, nephrostomy double urine bags on legs) to bother with too. I can't wear normal clothes, just house dresses or gowns (the tubing from the urine bags prevents that) and taking a shower is work rather than pleasure as it takes over an hour to re bandage everything I have that has to be re bandaged. So my husband will only do that for me once a week, I miss being able to shower every day and I don't know if I'll ever get over that.....I can't shower myself as I can't reach the nephrostomy tube's little screw-on pieces that allow me to remove the leg bags temporarily while I shower (little plugs go into the tubes coming out of my back/kidneys.) Those are situated just out of my own reach.

Colostomy was my worst nighmare and it came true, but if truth be known the nephrostomy is much worse, it causes all the pain, if it were JUST the colostomy I'd feel much better physically.

I had a really good body/shape, a tiny little waist, and I miss being able to wear my little black dresses with the big wide belt and looking like a little Barbie doll.....my stoma is right on my waist line so I can't wear anything like that......

I feel like I had no life of my own really because I dedicated 17 years to taking care of my semi invalid mother, then immediately was stricken with the cancer and all that entailed. I really wish I had children, I feel very very left out and I think its why I'm having such trouble, I hear everyone else saying (when they are sick and such) that they would "never make it" without their children, I think having childdren must give people a "reason to live" or something, I guess that I don't have, I wanted children, but my life just didn't go that way, I thought I had plenty of time ......but I guess we never expect to be dealt such a bad hand of cards do we?

Is there anyone else here who has other physical problems besides the colostomy or am I the only one?

One of my husband's co workers (whose father just had a colostomy) actually asked him the other day, "How do you stand to look at that (meaning the stoma/bag) every day?" I cried and cried when my husband told me that. I wanted to make him proud and be on his arm and bring such happiness to him, and all I've brought is pain and burden.....he would have retired 3 years ago had it not been for my cancer recurrance and I watch him go out to work and struggle every day......and then some friend of his says something so horrid! This comes under "how can it get worse" eh??

Cathy

[harv]

I accept it but do have some issues occasionally with it. Im starting to get used to it finally but rely on my wife alot, I do not know what I would do without her.

[corvus]

Generaly i accept it but life has realy changed in part because of it though it probly was caused because of stress in my life. I do not have a wife or anyone to help me out in fact i do not even live in a house but a camper in the costal woods. I used to swim a lot but i have not done much of that other people do not like looking at me with the bag, some ask about it most just shun me. Children do not help mine do not talk to me at the moment though the colostomy is not the reason. I can not work for another year or so because of another medical problem, then I can not go back to my old job and the resessipon is brutle here regardlesss of what the media is saying. Yes, I am not in a good space mentally at the moment. Shit, I lived through 878 days in Nam combat walking to my freedom bird to end you like this.
later

[gtorichie]

i dont mind it and since about the age of 18 its never botherd me, i found it hard from time to time when i was younger but more from the hastle from other kids rather than the ostomy itself lol

i wouldnet say i love it but i dont hate it at the end of the day can anyone with out this problem say thay lover there butt hole?? lol (had to be said sorry)

[porter]

Sorry all I do not know what to the message so will try again, I think I have now come to accept my Ileostomy, mainley due to the help and support from my wife Jackie and two children both grown up (well you wouldent think so at times) I still get a little stressed when we have to stay over at the inlaws or hotels as that when Tony seems to let me down by leaking etc. (Tony by the way is what the kids called it as they say he full of s**t as well, hes in the party with the red rose emblem he he he) by Chris. ;D ;D ;D

[honeybear]

Although I have recently had my colostomy reversed I answered the poll as I would have had I still had my colostomy.

And that was that it didn't bother me and a I accepted it, I went to sleep expecting my appendix to be taken out but woke up with a colostomy and accepted it right from the beginning, it didn't worry me having it. I couldn't wait to get out of the hospital to find out more about it and that is exactly what I did when I finally got home and to my computer.

The only thing that ever bothered me was that initially I had trouble finding the right appliance for my that didn't leak and cause blistering but once that was sorted out I was fine.

Jennylee

[bassettgirl]

I accept mine pretty well, and dont resent it at all. I do worry about the odor if I have not used my Stop Odor drops or something similar. That is rare though.

I have not ever felt comfy with telling anyone and everyone about my ostomy. I had my surgery when I was 15, so the people who knew me knew I had been very sick and had surgery. I dont know if everyone knew exactly what kind of surgery, but they knew something was going on. I got lots of pity and people saying "Oh, let me get that for you... should you be eating that?... should you be lifting that?... etc etc" I felt in a way that everyone was giving me special treatment when all I really needed was for people to treat me as if nothing was different about me.

My family moved to another state a couple of years later, and it felt so great not to have people know about my medical history. So since then, I've tried to be selective about who I tell. I know that it is silly to think that someone would not want to be around me because of my ostomy, and sometimes I think I'm close to coming out of the ostomy closet.... but for now I am content.

I dont think I get depressed about the ostomy, but there have been times when I've been quite sad that no matter how hard I try I cannot do certain things. Ever since surgery there are some muscles in my abdomen that wont work correctly... I have trouble lifting my legs a certain way. It usually isnt a problem, but I had difficulties once when I was rappeling down a cliff and got stuck against a rock. I couldnt push myself off with my legs and had to improvise. It was a real mental battle. To not be able to do something (that others are able to do) because you are just not able, as opposed to not being strong enough... that's tough.

[Eliza]

This is my second colostomy. The first one I had was in an impossible location. I hated it because I couldn't keep the flange on, couldn't irrigate it and couldn't keep the skin intact around it. I lived with it for 18months.

I had the reversal for one year. If I thought I was unhappy with the colostomy I was ten times more miserable with the reversal. I had severe pain all the time, difficulty having BM's and I eventually begged to have the colostomy back.

I've had #2 for 4 months. This time the stoma site is perfect. I can irrigate every 2 days and have had no output in between. If I don't irrigate, the flange will stay on and I haven'thad a single link. After what I've been through, I truly appreciate the beauty of this stoma.

The big difference I think was that the first colostomy was done as an emergency. The second time we had a chance to plan for it and to have a proper site marked. It's made all of the difference.