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Post by becuzIcare on Jan 26, 2004 21:23:56 GMT -5
I dont even know where to begin with this....I have a friend that I've known for awhile.....and things have kinda gone past the friendship stage....this person had colon cancer a few years ago..and still isnt comfortable with the whole colostomy thing...is very disgusted with it and just doesnt have a good attitude about it..I dont know that I would either...but I care very much for this person ..and I'm lookin for I guess a support group online to help me better understand...I mean I understand it...Its just hard for this person to open up about it..I'm not tryin to be a therapist to this person..just love him and let him know what true unconditional love is...anyone have any pointers...or places for me to look...or can even email me would be great.... Thanks....
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Post by mum322003 on Jan 26, 2004 22:47:53 GMT -5
This is a difficult one. Sometimes people go into a denial stage after their surgery. As for a support group try contacting your local ostomy association and see if they can point you in the right direction. Also see if you can talk to a Stomal Therapist (ET Nurse) and see what advice they have. It is a really hard one though!!!!! Take care and it is great to see you helping your friend.
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Post by Kathy_from_England on Jan 27, 2004 14:16:40 GMT -5
Hi, I am the partner of an ileostomist. My situation is different in that he had an emergency ileostomy while we were together.
The stoma has honestly never bothered me. It saved his life. I educated myself as much as I could about ostomies (this was pre-internet). I'd advise you to do the same.
You can also join us in the chatroom - you'd be very welcome.
www.ostomy.fsnet.co.uk/chat.html
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Eliza
Posted a few msgs
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Post by Eliza on Jan 29, 2004 13:44:27 GMT -5
It sounds like you are already doing what is the best thing for your friend... and that's to accept him unconditionally. It will take time for him to accept that somebody really CAN love him and find him attractive inspite of the colostomy.
I had been happily married for 18 years when I had my colostomy. Even I wasn't so sure that my husband would still find me desirable. It took lots and lots of reassurance for me to believe that he really meant it. So it could be a slow process for you to break down the walls that he has put up. But you will. Just hang in there, be persistent and consistent and you'll get through to him.
Best wishes, Eliza
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Post by Jason_D on Jan 30, 2004 10:09:55 GMT -5
Hi there, If you want to know as much as possible about life with an ostomy, and about what an ostomy is, how it affects ppl and so on, then I can highly recommend you have a read of the Lifestyle guide pages of the website this message board is a part of: www.ostomy.fsnet.co.uk/guide.html It covers over 20 chapters, and things such as post op, travel, work, sex, relationships, diet, bags and lots more besides. That aside, contacting a local support group would also be a good idea as they will have literature for you to read and ppl you can talk to on the phone. To find you local support group please visit the appropriate country-based site below. UK: www.bcass.org.uk US: www.uoa.org/chapters_states.htmCanada: www.ostomycanada.ca/chapters/chapters.htmContact the one geographically nearest to you and you should be in their catchment area even if it isnt based in your home town. If you dont live in either the US, UK or Canada please let us know which country you live in and I'll see if I can dig out a list of support groups for you for that country. Good luck to you both for the future. buh bye now, Jason D. (29, UK) webmaster and colostomist. www.ostomy. fsnet.co.uk
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