accepting my colostomy

[Joan]

I've had my colostomy for about 6 months and still can not deal with it as far as being able to empty it clean it. I've been blessed with a wonderful husband that does this for me. I've got a great support group family and friend wise but still I'm stuck. When we were little my sibs would laugh as all they had to do is talk about something gross and I'd be in the bathroom. Not much has changed I'm afraid. My stomach is so weak that it's making me feel WEAK!!!! As much as hubby loves me it isn't fair to him or me that we have to be attached at the hip this way. By the way I'm now starting chemo that might make me loss my hair that is only adding to the stress. I also have my first daughter being married this June. I need help fast. HELP!!! And a big thank you in advance.

[Jason_D]

Hello there,

I'm sorry to hear things are so difficult for you at the moment. To be honest Joan, the only way your are going to get over this is to take it one step at a time and slowly but surely you will condition yourself to be physically able to address changing the bag.

Maybe to begin with you can just peel it off, then hubby does the rest. You do that for a week or so, then you peel it off and maybe have a go at cleaning it. And so on.

It wont be easy, Im sure. Especially after all the problems you've had so far, and the conditioning as a child and so on. But you managed the toilet duties before the ostomy and ultimately you are achieving the same goal (and therefore doing the same thing - twisted logic here I know...) just going about it a different way.

You mention support groups which is excellent, it is good you are seeking help from them. They will be a big help too. Are they professional councellors you are seeing or just fellow patients? With the stress of the bag, and the cancer, and the chemo etc it *may* be beneficial for you to seek councelling too.

At the end of the day though as much as the support groups, message boards and ppl like me want to help you, it is down to you to make the first difficult step and to gradually build up from that until you eventually manage a complete change of the pouch yourself.

I'm sure some other folks on the board here will have some ideas for you as well, and I wish you luck. You know where we are if you ever want to vent or have a moan, or indeed report successes and other things besides.

Good luck!


Jason D.
webmaster and colostomist.
www.ostomy.fsnet.co.uk

[Joan]

Thank you so much for such a quik reply. I've not even gotten to the stage of empty it but guess what I did today. So excited like you said a little at a time I guess. Thanks again.

[Jason_D]

Hey Joan,

Thats brilliant! I'm so pleased for you. It's great you managed it so quickly too! Excellent.

The thing to do now is to try to do a little bit more every time, or like I said yesterday set yourself weekly targets such as "this week I will peel it off, once I'm confident with that, I'll move on to cleaning the stoma and skin for a week, as well as peeling it off" and so on.

I'm sure that after such a good start, and with a little patience and support, you'll soon be changing it yourself all the time and be telling hubby he's fired in the pouching changing department.

Anyways, like I say, delighted you've managed to do what you've done, and I'm pleased that you are excited over it too!

Good luck for the furture, you know where we are if you need any help or advice or to chat etc. Speaking of chat dont forget about the chat room we have - www.ostomy.fsnet.co.uk/chat.html - open 24/7 but saturday evenings 8pm UK time GMT / 3pm EST US Time are busiest as thats when we have the meeting. The same time on any weekday also usually has a good number of people in too. You are most welcome to join us in there.

Buh bye now,



Jason D.
webmaster and colostomist.
www.ostomy.fsnet.co.uk